As leaders, we sometimes have a curious relationship with joy. 

We make it something out of reach, available only after we’ve satisfied some imagined set of conditions. As if it’s a prize perched at the summit of a daunting climb. Like some rare delicacy we look forward to tasting, one day. Something to be earned. Something for “later.”

In my work with leaders, I see this pattern play out in a mental model that looks something like a three-tiered pyramid:

At the base, we place Stability – our foundation. 

To claim this for ourselves, we need to feel and believe a few things:

• Psychological safety – I’m allowed to be myself
• Confidence and competence – I know I’m capable and feel good about my skills/abilities
• Reliable feedback – My ideas and work stand up to scrutiny 
• Permission to experiment and fail – I’ve earned the trust to put ideas forward + try them

Only once we’re secure here, we reason, can we graduate to the next tier: Choices. 

With Choices we have options. A little breathing room. This might look like:

• Space to experiment and iterate – My ideas are respected, valued and worth trying 
• Creative input to fuel and enrich our ideas – Brainstorming, collaboration and trying out new things are valued and encouraged
• Agency to shape our path forward- I’m recognized more for my impact than my hours

And finally, way up at the peak, we place Joy – that rarified state where creative expression flows freely and work feels like play. Here, at last, we can finally tap into the good stuff. Things like: 

• Creative expression – I’m having more fun that I ever imagined
• Space to play – I love what I do every day. I can’t believe I get paid to do this
• Time and space to practice and reflect – I’m continuously learning and growing 
• Capacity and permission to feel excited – I feel purpose and a sense of momentum

Sounds logical, right? A neat, linear progression.

But here’s what I’ve noticed: Many of us get stuck at Choices. We treat it like our final destination. We might even feel guilty for wanting more. After all, having options is a privilege, right? Why push our luck?

What if we’ve got it backward?

Instead of holding joy as the prize at the finish line, what if we made it the fuel for the journey? What if joy wasn’t the reward for climbing the pyramid, but the very thing that makes the climb possible and worthwhile?

Exciting possibilities start to open up. 

With joy as our travel companion rather than our destination, the summit becomes a blank canvas. Maybe we envision it as Freedom. Or Possibility. Maybe Passion or Fulfillment. The beauty is – we get to decide.

When joy shifts from destination to condition, everything changes. 

The checkboxes transform into celebrations. The “have-to’s” become “get-to’s.” The journey itself takes on new meaning.

I’m experimenting with this shift in my own leadership practice, working with leaders to help them identify what truly matters to them, and experimenting with what changes when we treat joy not as the stuff of one day, but as the stuff of now. 

If you’re playing with this idea too, or this post has sparked something for you, I’d love to hear your thoughts.